Monday, October 18, 2010

Life Blues =(

So I haven't posted in a little while I've been in a creative funk. I applied for a job with IBM last week but it doesn't look good. It hurts to think I've been busting my ass to learn how technology works for the past 4 almost 5 years and still no one wants to give me a shot. I had this idea for a Napoleonic, zombie, Gothic horror concept, but I'm just not feeling it. I'll post what I have It's not much but it will be preserved in my little corner of the web. As of late my thoughts have turned to GOD. I have to thank him for the two best things in my life right now my wife and my three year old son. As I set and reflected on my relationship with GOD I can't help but think I really pisst him off some how. It seems my entire adult life has been nothing but one long endless struggle. As I set here and think about it my childhood was the best part of my life, for it was the only time I was truly free. I know that may seem weird but even though there were rules to follow there was the freedom to explore and learn new things at my own pace. Now in my adult life I only worry about money and how to keep my family together. I don't know but as a artist we just seem to feel things more emotionally than most. I can only imagine what my wife goes through when shes on her period but at times I think it has to be alot like I've been feeling this past couple of weeks. I'm tired of weeping over money or lack there of. So I have no where else to turn but to GOD. Its funny I look at all of whats going on in the media with vampires becoming good, wizards and witch craft becoming accepted and the lack of respect for religion and I cant help but wonder whats going on. As a artist I seem to be going back wards for as more and more people seem to be walking away from GOD, All I want is to get closer to him. I feel you don't have to go to church to get close to him but you have to believe and have faith that's all it takes. GOD has been testing me my entire adult life and it hurts a lot but I well never give up on him because he never gave up on me. It seems me and Lucifer and his demons battle daily and at times I feel their winning for the simple fact that there just waring me down. But I know the war is not over and wont end until I'm dead and then I feel it will still go on even in heaven. Because I feel my spirit well never truly be at rest. So with all this in mind I've begun a war in heaven concept a story about or dealing with the fall of Lucifer and the angelic wars that were fought for GODS throne. I will have to come up concepts of what heaven looks like to me. Of the angels and demons as well as the spiritual places that the dwell maybe something like the 7 heavens. There are three video games that I'm drawing inspiration from 1. Spiritual Warfare buy Wisdom Tree 2. Heaven the game made by Genesis Works and 3. My all time favorite game The Legend of Zelda. The goal of doing this is the hope that I can get closer to GOD, because the way I've been feeling lately he just seems so far away from me.

AIM HIGH !!!!! Just a little idea........


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